When I got home this evening, two huge squirrels were sitting at my back door gorging themselves on a bag of birdseed that an unnamed resident of this household left out.
I approached and the two squirrels looked up.
“Who the fuck are you?”, said they.
“I live here, and I can’t believe my dogs haven’t eaten YOU”, said I.
To which the fat squirrels replied, “YOUR dogs?”.
Then they ran ran off up a tree and I entered a quiet house – which was somewhat odd since if someone so much as farts at 3AM our dogs raise all hell…