When I got home this evening, two huge squirrels were sitting at my back door gorging themselves on a bag of birdseed that an unnamed resident of this household left out.

I approached and the two squirrels looked up.

     “Who the fuck are you?”, said they.

     “I live here, and I can’t believe my dogs haven’t eaten YOU”, said I.

     To which the fat squirrels replied, “YOUR dogs?”.

Then they ran ran off up a tree and I entered a quiet house – which was somewhat odd since if someone so much as farts at 3AM our dogs raise all hell…

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